Uchiha-chan!
by C.B. Magique
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke wakes up one morning to find that he has inexplicably become female and is released from gaol on a minor technicality. Out in the world once again, trying out her lady-training-wheels is going to prove difficult when it seems that everyone in the village wants a piece of the new Uchiha. Rated for racy jokes, innuendo and sheer stupidity. Fem!Sasuke
1. A Yellow Lace Bra

**I had this story up ages ago but then I deleted it for some reason that I don't remember. Oh well, it's back now. This was kind of inspired by an excellent book I remember reading as a child. It's called Bill's New Frock by Anne Fine. You should definitely read it if you haven't already. **

**This is a bit of a futurefic with the added premise of "what if Sasuke just randomly turned into a girl?" Shennanigans will ensue. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This is only fanfiction produced for fun and frivolity, not for profit. If I did own Naruto, there would be way more female characters.**

* * *

1. A Yellow Lace Bra

Sasuke knew the day was going to be odd when he woke up to find his prison inmate leering at him. He glared and cracked his stiff neck, hoping that would scare the other man into looking away but it didn't. The inmate continued to stare lewdly at him with a predatory grin. Sasuke would have liked to smash him through a wall but his position wouldn't allow it. He was classified as 'highly dangerous' and had to sit for all hours of the day in an anchored steel chair with chains and shackles on his wrists and ankles clipped onto a large metal ring that was fused to the concrete floor somewhere beneath his seat. No matter what threatening glower Sasuke sent towards the vulgar man he never took his perverted stare off Sasuke. Sasuke growled at him.

"What?" he snapped curtly but the voice that made the sound and echoed off the dark walls and iron bars wasn't his voice. Sasuke's voice had a distinct pitch and that word hadn't been said with that distinct pitch. In fact, it sounded suspiciously like a woman's voice. But that wasn't right because he definitely wasn't a woman.

In the end, he decided he'd been interrupted. Yes. A woman somewhere in the prison had loudly exclaimed the same word as him and drowned him out unintentionally. That made logical sense.

Down in this dark, windowless cell Sasuke had no method of accurately telling the time, except when the guards came to give meals and take the other man chained to the wall away for hard manual labour. He heard the light footsteps (customary for any ninja) and the jangling of keys that signalled the gaolers coming but something wasn't right. Sasuke didn't know what time it was but he had the feeling that it was too early for breakfast so the guards shouldn't be here for a while.

When two guards arrived at the iron bars they didn't have breakfast with them. One of the ninja guards, dressed in black and wearing a Konoha forehead protector, opened the door and stepped inside. Sasuke had started to think that perhaps the other man was about to be relocated to a different cell if the guards weren't here to feed them. Due to the nature of his crimes, Sasuke wasn't even allowed to have solid meals. Cutlery and breakable plates or bowls could easily be understood, but apparently a piece of watermelon could be used as a tool to asphyxiate someone, so Sasuke was given a liquefied substance in a thick plastic cup which he wasn't even allowed to hold by himself. Needless to say, Sasuke could barely contain his surprise when the guard approached him and crouched down in front of him to detach his chains. The inmate whistled at what was a suggestive position from his angle and the second guard promptly knocked him out (Sasuke was thankful for that). The guard in front of him yanked him to his feet and allowed Sasuke a little bit of time to stretch his stiff, aching bones and muscles. However, he was still limited by his chains.

"Sasuke, you are to come with us to the interrogation room," the guard told him. "You are not to ask questions and even if you do they will not be answered. If you try anything funny – such as escape – the orders are to kill you on the next sighting."

Sasuke just grunted. The guard led him out of the cell and the other locked it. Sasuke was escorted up the narrow corridor lit by flaming torches that reminded him of Orochimaru's lairs. He knew there was a purpose to the torches. They could have used electric lights but the burning of oxygen, the heat emitted and the stuffy, windowless building meant that staying down here was hot, uncomfortable and it was harder to breathe. It was torture in a sense. They climbed a flight of stairs and the guard opened the reinforced steel door at the top. Walking into the cooler, fresher air felt like heaven but Sasuke wouldn't let anyone know that. One side of this corridor was lined with cell doors that had little barred windows, the other side was a wall with little barred windows at the top letting in natural light. It wasn't bright; the day was still in the early hours of the morning but after sitting in the dim firelight for months, never coming out, Sasuke was enthralled to see any form of daylight, even the somewhat dim glow of the pinkish sky. They continued to make steady progress down the hallways and corridors until they had reached their destination.

In the interrogation room Sasuke was forced to sit down on a wooden chair in front of a wooden table with a single lamp hanging above them. He rolled his eyes at the clichéd setting. He and the guards waited for what must have been at least an hour before someone finally came in. Flanked by three ANBU, it was the Hokage. Sasuke blinked as the large-breasted blonde walked in carrying a cardboard box. She set her box down on her end of the table and sat down. Curiosity getting the better of him, Sasuke tried to lean forward to catch a glimpse of what was in the box but a guard yanked him back by the hair.

Sasuke only wanted an answer to one question: why am I here? Tsunade seemed to understand his silent question in his glare. She reached into the box to take out a yellow unsealed manila folder.

"I'm sure today's events have already been quite confusing for you," she began. She didn't seem to be picking her words carefully. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at that. "But I've come to handle the details of your release."

"Excuse me?" There it was again. That female voice that he assumed had so rudely interrupted him before but this time he knew there was no explanation other than that the voice had come from himself. What was going on?

"We can confirm that the Uchiha Sasuke that has been confined in this prison for the past six months is not the same Uchiha Sasuke that we regard as an international criminal in the ninja world," Tsunade explained.

Again, Sasuke could barely conceal the shock and left his mouth hanging open in response to that. How did that logic work? Everyone had seen him run away from the village when he was twelve, everyone had seen him attack the Five Kage Summit and everyone had known that he was a subordinate of Uchiha Madara during the first half of the Fourth Shinobi War. Even he knew that he'd done those things. How could the Hokage now come along and deny all of that?

"The reason being," she continued, "that we are without a doubt that the Uchiha Sasuke who became an international criminal was male." She opened the manila folder and slid it towards him. It was just a basic prison file that recorded his age, height, name, crime and evidently, his gender as well. The kanji for man was circled.

"What's your point?" Sasuke said, mentally wincing at the odd sound of his voice. He reasoned that it was probably because he hadn't used it for a long time since he barely spoke to anyone in the prison.

"This is my point..." Tsunade sighed, reaching over the table and unzipping Sasuke's shirt. The guards and ANBU must have been extremely well trained or they must have known about this because when Sasuke looked down and lifted his heavy, shackled hands to feel his chest even he couldn't hide the horror when faced with this. He had breasts. They were little breasts but that didn't change the fact that they were there.

"You don't have a penis either," the Hokage added. "Therefore, we can conclude that you are, in fact, not an international criminal and under the laws regarding false charges, we have to set you free with compensation."

"No."

Tsuande blinked. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean 'no'! I'm a man! I'm a traitor! I know this! I did it and I remember it. What is going on?"

"We're letting you free because you don't match the description of the person who should be imprisoned here."

"But... why? Why am I suddenly a woman? How did this happen to me?" Sasuke knew he was going into hysterics. He couldn't stop himself.

"I don't know, but as long as you're a woman there is evidence to prove that you don't deserve to be in prison." Sasuke gaped at her. How could she say that with a straight face? He half expected her to suddenly start laughing, tell him it was a hilarious joke and then send him straight back to his cell.

"Now, for the matter of your financial situation." She was serious. Sasuke suddenly felt like he wanted to die; just drop dead right there. "As you are aware, you will be receiving compensation for false charges-"

"They were _not_ false charges," Sasuke argued.

"Shut up! Anyway, we decided to provide the compensation in the form of shelter and furnishings rather than a monetary payout simply because you already have an enormous inheritance."

"From where?" Sasuke demanded.

Tsunade picked up a second folder from inside the box. It was a red manila folder with a seal. Tsunade peeled away the tape and pushed it in front of Sasuke, ordering the guards to take the cuffs off his wrists so that he could open it himself. The cool, dry air was slightly stinging his raw, clammy skin. He opened the folder. It contained a number of documents but the writing all blurred into little squiggly lines. He looked up at the Hokage and she seemed to understand.

"The documents in that folder detail your compensation and a large sum of money from an account in the Konoha bank under the name 'Uchiha' that amounts to over eight hundred million ryo."

"Why do I suddenly have eight hundred million ryo?" Sasuke inquired disbelievingly. If he had all of this money why had he been living off an allowance from the Hokage since his clan's massacre?

"You should be grateful; you're lucky to have it," Tsunade said. "When the Uchiha clan was massacred, all of the savings, earnings that hadn't been collected yet and dowries were combined, any debts subtracted and piled into one account. The Uchiha clan was very large and very wealthy, Sasuke, and I'm actually not surprised that it added up to such a large amount of money. You have the Third Hokage to thank for that. The council members and Danzo wanted to take that money and use it for the development of the ANBU factions, but the Third overruled that, declaring that since it was your clan's finances and since you were still alive it was officially your inheritance. Unfortunately, you were too young to access it until now.

"Now, we're going to let you go outside the prison gates and we're not arranging any transport to your new home. The guard will tell you your new address when you're outside and I think you're perfectly capable of making your own way there."

"Save for the fact that I'm half blind," Sasuke retorted scathingly.

"You'll get over that. Also, I think you can expect your breasts to grow in the time following, so you'll need this." She took the final item out of the box and tossed it to him. "If your mother's size is any indication of how big you'll grow that will fit you."

Sasuke picked up the item, feeling the material. It was a yellow, lace bra. Sasuke cringed. Not only was yellow an awful colour for any undergarment in his opinion, he had no intention of wearing this bra. He was sure that he'd just wake up tomorrow and find that he was a man who'd been having a bad dream. It was a good thing he couldn't read the size on the tag, though – the only thing that could have made this dream worse. He was sure that if he knew what his mother's cup size was, he would have to kill himself.

The guards unlocked his shackles and lifted him to his feet to prepare him for release.

* * *

Sasuke looked around his new apartment. It was quite spacious, in a good part of town and painted with soothing neutral colours. If there was decoration anywhere in the form of flower arrangements, woven rugs or wind chimes, he really couldn't tell through his impaired vision. He activated the Sharingan. The Konoha medic-nins had done something to him before he was detained in his cell to try to disable the Sharingan, in particular the Mangekyo. They failed spectacularly at it and left Sasuke half blind. The only time he was able to get his full vision back was when he activated the Sharingan and even then it didn't get back to 20-20 until he activated the Mangekyo. Most of the time he didn't feel like it was necessary to waste his chakra just to look around. Irony, that's what it is.

The apartment turned out to be bland and devoid of much decoration except for some kind of pale pole-like thing near the wall that didn't catch his interest. There were no paintings. From what he could see, the first half of the first room was an open living area with a space with a table and two chairs for dining on the right and a kitchen on the left. The second half was a living room of sorts with a set of drawers, a couch, a chair and a coffee table. Beyond that was a balcony behind sliding glass doors with nothing on it. On the right wall was a doorway leading to a laundry room and a small water closet and on the wall on the balcony just outside there was a washing line that folded down for convenience. On the left wall of the living room was a closed door that led into a small hallway that led into two bedrooms and a bathroom between them.

Sasuke put his folders and his bra on the dining room table and started to rummage around. There was no food in his fridge or pantry and there were no clothes or shoes in his bedroom cupboard. He had towels and bath mats made of wooden slats, and a few plates, cups and cutlery. It was more than enough for one person living alone. He sighed and went back to the folders. He flipped through the documents of the red folder to find a green card which he put in the pocket of his pants. Not getting spotted by anyone he knew on the way to the apartment was a miracle. However, now that he was forced to do some shopping he knew he didn't stand a chance. All of Konoha would know that he was now a she.

She glanced at the bra for a brief moment and decided against putting it on. She didn't know how anyway.


	2. The Girl Has a Day Out

2. The Girl Has a Day Out

Sasuke had known she was doomed. She'd only made it to the next street when she found Kiba, Akamaru, Shino and some Neji look-alike Hyuuga walking towards a training ground. She stood stock still on the edge of the intersection, hoping that the three wouldn't see her; wishing she could be invisible right now. All the wishing in the world didn't help. The three stopped and stared at her.

There was a tense silence between them for a moment. It was usually impossible to see what the look on Shino's face was but Sasuke was sure that the expressions Kiba and the Hyuuga had were disappointed and distrustful. Luckily, she could only see blurs and vague details where their faces should be. Even though she was right about the Hyuuga, Kiba actually looked very confused and Shino had a raised eyebrow. Of course, they were upset about the actions the young Uchiha had taken in the past few years and not only were they confused about why she was out of gaol; there was something about her that they couldn't quite put their finger on.

"Morning Uchiha," Kiba finally said, startling Sasuke with the lack of hostility but at least he wasn't being very familiar because that would just be too weird for Sasuke to handle. "You seem different."

"It's probably just because you haven't seen me in a while," she replied.

"No, you're different-different."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, masking her mortification over the notion that Kiba may have already found out her secret. A bug landed on her shoulder and she went to swat it but it darted out of the way quickly and buzzed away to land on Shino's finger.

"This bug seems to think you smell different too," Shino said. "Have you undergone any physical changes?"

Sasuke fought the blush and stared impassively, not trusting herself to give them an answer with a straight face.

"I'm sure Akamaru's nose is slightly more accurate," the Hyuuga said. "Kiba-san, can you two do an analysis?"

"Sure thing," Kiba said, approaching Sasuke with his huge dog. Sasuke didn't flinch when Akamaru's big, wet nose bumped and prodded her during the investigation but her nerves were bundling up inside her. Kiba stood in front of her, looking down. Now that was strange. "You shrank."

"I think that's rather redundant at this point," Sasuke snapped, giving him a defiant glare. "And who is that guy? I don't recognise him," she added, gesturing to the Hyuuga with her eyes alone.

"Che! You're so frickin' rude. We ran into him at the Hyuuga compound and he agreed to come train with us since Hinata has something else." Sasuke narrowed her eyes. That did not answer her question.

Akamaru finished his examination and stepped back, communicating his findings with a few quick barks. Kiba's eyes widened.

"No way, Akamaru, check again. That can't be right."

"What did he say?" the Hyuuga asked.

"He's trying to tell me that Uchiha somehow turned into a girl."

"That's not possible," Shino said. "In Konoha it's illegal to get a sex change until the patient turns twenty-one. Not only is he not old enough but he was definitely male when he was imprisoned."

"Tokuma-san, you can confirm it with Byakugan, can't you?" Kiba said.

He shook his head. "I'm above such vulgar things."

"Oh come on! It's the best way to be certain."

Tokuma sighed and reluctantly activated his bloodline limit. He looked only for a few seconds before his eyes widened and he deactivated his ability. "It's true!"

"What! No it's not, you liar!" Kiba shouted, unzipping Sasuke's shirt and throwing it open. He nearly had a mental shut down when two bare boobs were revealed. Somehow, Sasuke thought they looked bigger than they were the last time she looked. Tokuma and Shino both looked stuck for words as well.

"You pervert!" someone screeched, making Akamaru howl. A woman, who just so happened to be walking past, threw a high heeled shoe at Kiba's head. It hit its mark. She lunged at him and pushed him to the ground before she began to beat him with her other shoe. "You lecher! You creep! You sicko! Molesting a girl in public like that. Don't you have any decency?!"

Sasuke took a deep breath through her nose and zipped up her shirt. She decided to use this opportunity, while Shino and Tokuma were still shocked and Akamaru was barking at the civilian lady, to take her leave. However, she was stopped by Tokuma. She turned around to find him looking at her with an expression of concern, holding some bandages and balm in one hand.

"I noticed you were injured," he said. Sasuke blinked. She must have been seeing things, but it looked like he was blushing. "It must have been from the chains in prison. In any case, you should try to heal them."

Sasuke narrowed her eyes slightly. Was he really thinking what she suspected? She held out her arms to test him. "You can put it on."

He seemed taken aback and the blush that he must have been trying to fight flared up. "Um... okay."

They sat down on the side of the street and Sasuke took of her shoes to allow Tokuma access to her ankles. They weren't quite as raw as her wrists. Tokuma tenderly rubbed the pale green balm on the sore, red flesh and bandaged it. When he was done, Sasuke quickly stood up, uttered a curt thank-you and walked off quickly. She couldn't believe it. She hadn't been a girl for even twenty-four hours and someone already had a romantic crush on her. She took a deep breath. It would pass. She didn't believe in love at first sight, it was just a mild infatuation borne from the fact that Tokuma had had a chance to see her boobs.

She walked quickly towards the supermarket. She turned a corner and froze again. There, at Ichiraku's Ramen, were Shikamaru and Chouji. She skirted around the shop and tried to walk past as quietly and normally as she could but couldn't hold down the surprised grunt when someone ran into her. They both tumbled to the ground. The commotion caught the attention of both Shikamaru and Chouji, who turned around to see what had happened.

"Ah, sorry! I was trying to do three hundred laps around Konoha on my hands while pulling this boulder with my teeth and I wasn't paying proper attention to the path."

Sasuke's eyes widened. She recognised that voice and that type of ridiculous trial that only two people in Konoha would even try. She turned around and found Lee picking himself off the ground and offering her a hand before even dusting himself. Behind him on a slackened length of rope was the boulder he was trying to pull... and boy, was it a large boulder. Lee's eyes widened in shock horror when he realised who he'd run into.

"Uchiha! That's not even possible! You're meant to be in prison for your heinous deeds!" Lee shouted.

"What?" Shikamaru and Chouji exclaimed, jumping out of their seats and taking a battle stance.

"What are you doing here?" Chouji demanded. He gulped, realising that looking at Sasuke felt profoundly different for some reason. Judging by the way they were hesitating, Lee and Shikamaru seemed to be feeling it too.

"I was released," Sasuke answered, picking herself up and dusting her clothes. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to the supermarket."

"Hold on a minute!" Lee interrupted before Sasuke could leave. "What in the name of all things youthful are you doing out of prison? This is rather confounding."

"I know," Sasuke replied. "I was let out on the basis that I'm not really Uchiha Sasuke."

The three boys blinked at her.

"Like we'd believe that!" Chouji snapped. "You must have broken out somehow."

"Maybe it is true," Shikamaru said, looking Sasuke up and down. "You have a slightly different physique to the Uchiha Sasuke we know, although that could be attributed to muscle atrophy due to the disuse while you were locked up. You are a bit smaller too and I can't think of an explanation as to how you managed to shrink yourself unless you used a transformation technique. Your voice also sounds different. But I doubt a simple transformation would be enough to trick the guards at the prison – they're ANBU level ninja."

Sasuke made a sound that was like a grunt crossed with a laugh. "I was kidding. I am Uchiha Sasuke. However, I was serious about being released from prison."

"That makes no sense," Chouji pointed out. "You are Uchiha Sasuke but you claim you were released on the basis that you're not."

"I must admit, looking at you gives me a weird feeling," Lee said.

"We must all be feeling it," Shikamaru said, "because Uchiha is now a girl."

"Eh?!" Chouji and Lee yelled.

"You don't believe me?" Shikamaru asked, walking over to Sasuke and opening her shirt to reveal her breasts again. Lee and Chouji blushed vibrantly. Shikamaru also stared. "It must be troublesome," he said to Sasuke.

"What are you doing?!" Ayame shrieked. She had been around the back and hadn't heard the conversation. When she came back all she saw was Shikamaru holding open the shirt of a bare-breasted Uchiha Sasuke look-alike girl. She grabbed a random utensil (which happened to be a ladle), leaped over the counter and bashed Shikamaru over the head repeatedly. Lee and Chouji had their eyes closed and were blushing furiously. Sasuke zipped up her shirt again and made her getaway.

Sasuke ran through the streets at top speed, hoping a speeding blur would deter anyone else she knew from spotting her. She skidded to a halt, realising that there was a reason why super fast movement was usually reserved for battle purposes. She couldn't really see where she was going and ended up standing in front of the mall. She sighed. She'd taken a wrong turn. She turned around about to run back but she stopped. Time seemed to slow down and the air suddenly felt heavy and thick like water. Right behind her, was Haruno Sakura. The two stared at each other wide-eyed.

"Sa-Sasuke-kun?" Sakura whispered. "Am I dreaming?"

"Unfortunately not," Sasuke replied. "I am really here."

"But why? You're in gaol!"

"Under the circumstances, it seems that I'm not really myself."

"I don't get it... but I'm glad to see you Sasuke." Sakura rushed forward. Sasuke's eyes widened but some part of her couldn't bring herself to deny Sakura a hug, just like the time he had walked away from her. She would allow the pinkette to wrap her arms around her long-lost friend, but that was it. It was enough, though, to make Sakura realise one crucial difference. She jumped back in surprise, unzipped Sasuke's shirt and held it open. She gaped at the sight of breasts where pectorals had once been. She could tell by the rest of her figure that they weren't man boobs.

"Oh my god!" Sakura gasped. She grabbed Sasuke's injured wrist and dragged her into the mall. "Ino! Tenten! Hinata!"

The three girls who'd been waiting just within the mall's doors looked away from their conversation as Sakura thrust a bare-chested Sasuke in front of them. "Sasuke-kun turned into a woman!"

Hinata fainted. Ino looked like she'd seen a ghost and Tenten looked like she had just sucked on a lemon. Sasuke sighed and calmly zipped up her shirt. "How many times are you people going to unzip my shirt to stare at my boobs? Yes, I have turned into a woman. Now excuse me, I took a wrong turn and I need to get to the supermarket."

"Huh? Wait, Sasuke-kun, you haven't been here for a while," Sakura replied, since she was the only one who could still speak. "Konoha has already been destroyed and rebuilt. The supermarket was moved to be behind the mall."

"Oh? Well that's good then. I need to purchase some food and new clothes."

"Shut up both of you!" Ino screeched. "How can you just sit there and pretend there's nothing wrong with this situation? Sasuke-kun... h-how?"

"Ask the Hokage," Sasuke replied. "I would bet my inheritance that she has something to do with this. And knowing her, I would probably win."

"Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura said.

"You have an inheritance?" Tenten piped up.

"Of course. Since I'm the last member of the Uchiha clan, all of the money in the clan automatically gets passed on to me."

"And exactly how much is this inheritance?" Ino asked.

"Eight hundred million ryo."

A shocked silence was slammed down between them. The girls gawked at him with their jaws hanging open. Ino and Sakura looked like they were about to cry. Sasuke figured they would want to. After all, the moment the ninja who was considered to be the most handsome in the village gained an enormous inheritance was also the moment he became female.

"In any case, it'll get me off the ground so that I might be able to start working," Sasuke continued.

"Eight hundred million ryo will do more than 'get you off the ground'!" Ino pointed out. It was about this time that Hinata was starting to wake up and pick herself up off the floor.

"Wh-what?" she murmured. "Eight hundred million ryo? Who has that?"

"Sasuke-kun does," Ino told her.

Hinata looked at Sasuke. The dazed and faraway look on her face told Sasuke that she wasn't quite awake yet. "R-really? That's funny that we mention Uchiha-san now because I just had a strange dream where he turned into a girl."

Sakura pulled down the zipper again and thrust Sasuke bodily at Hinata. "That was no dream, Hinata. Somehow, Sasuke-kun is now a girl."

Hinata blinked and started to shake. Tenten quickly turned her around and started to fan her and mutter soothing words to get her to calm down while Sasuke zipped up the shirt yet again. Ino sighed. She supposed there was no other real choice than to accept it because this was obviously a dream. There was no other explanation for it. She was still in bed dreaming about going shopping with her friends in the morning.

"I suppose we're going to have to help you with your shopping then," she said, earning a startled glance from all of the other girls. "You'd be uncomfortable with going into the girls' sections by yourself otherwise, right? And we'll have to help you co-ordinate the outfits properly since boys are always bad at doing that."

"I don't need your help," Sasuke snapped.

"But don't you see? You do," Ino insisted, putting her hands on Sasuke's shoulders. "You already don't get it. One of the biggest things about being a girl is: shopping outings are quintessential social gatherings. Therefore, we cannot allow you to shop by yourself."

"That's not a law," Sasuke retorted, pushing Ino's hands off. "I'll shop alone."

"Not a law?!" Tenten exclaimed. She and Sakura both stood beside Ino, backing her up. "Of course it is! It's an unwritten, unspoken law!"

"Which only further denounces the reliability."

"Sasuke-kun, whether you want to or not, you have to shop with us," Sakura reasoned. "There are many things about a woman's world that a man will never experience. Women and men have different bodies and different needs. I guess it will be okay for you to shop alone in future, but for now you need us to show you the ropes. Now, let's do some shopping."

Sasuke sighed but the argument had won her over and she relented.

* * *

**I think Sasuke's boobs have now been seen by more men than any of the other kunoichi and things will only get more absurd from here on out.  
**

**Please review!**


	3. Cleverly Disguised Sex Shops

3. Cleverly Disguised Sex Shops

It didn't take long for Sasuke to realise that there really was a lot that she needed to learn about living as a woman. Firstly, Sakura had stressed the utmost importance of 'feminine hygiene products' and insisted on those being the first things Sasuke bought. Ino and Tenten wanted to get straight to the fashion side of shopping but that was immediately vetoed by Sakura dragging Sasuke bodily into the closest pharmacy they could find. The new girl scowled and yanked her wrist back so that she could cross her arms. She looked around the shop – a useless action since everything was blurred into a myriad of colours and indistinct shapes. Nonetheless, Sasuke could still vaguely recognise what she was seeing: that shelf to the far left was hair care, the pastel blues, yellows and pinks in front of her were baby care items, the counter to the right was for make-up sales… but she couldn't see any 'feminine hygiene products'. Even when she got up closer to browse the shelves they were surprisingly elusive.

"Over here, Sasuke-kun," she heard Sakura call.

Sasuke turned to see the girls all standing by a shelf right next to the door that faced into the shop so that it wasn't easily seen from the outside. Yet the shelves were so brightly and luridly coloured that it was like looking directly at a neon sign. Sakura beckoned for Sasuke to come over and she did, looking dumbfounded and feeling a bit stupid for having missed it.

"We know the feeling," Tenten giggled. "You almost never find them the first time. They're usually somewhat hidden."

"What are they, exactly," Sasuke asked, staring at the bright packaging.

"I told you, they're for feminine hygiene," Sakura replied. "You know, for your period."

Sasuke just nodded, even though she had no idea what a 'period' was. Karin had never had a 'period' in all the time that Sasuke had known her and never bought feminine hygiene products. Maybe some girls didn't have periods.

"If they're usually hidden, why are they all so bright?" said Sasuke. Surely that was counterintuitive.

"I think it's just for marketing," Ino answered, picking up a package that had slightly more variety of colours than others and an attractive pattern. "I like to buy this brand, mostly because of the design. They're a little more expensive but they also come with accessories to put them in and cute little packets for hygienic disposal."

"I usually get this one," Tenten added, picking up and showing Sasuke an aquamarine coloured box. "They're the cheapest but the basics are really all you need, right?"

"This brand is my favourite," Hinata said, holding a purple package. "It's a bit pricier but they have cute patterns on the cotton and they're really soft."

"I would recommend these ones," Sakura suggested, holding up two packages, one yellow and one light blue but both had the same design. "I find that they have the best absorbency and the pads are really flexible."

"Absorbency…?" Sasuke echoed. Now she was really curious as to what a period was. Why did it sound like it involved the leaking of body fluids? She looked back and forth at all of the suggestions the girls were throwing at her. "Is this really necessary?"

"Yes, you absolutely have to get these," Sakura insisted.

"It's the one thing a girl needs more than anything else," Ino agreed. "You need to keep a well-stocked stash of them at home and always make sure to carry at least two with you at all times."

Knowing Ino, that didn't really inspire Sasuke into feeling that she needed them and she still didn't see the point in buying them. Rather than get into a heated argument in the middle of the pharmacy, Sasuke just ended up buying Sakura's brand, believing that her reasoning was the most logical. All the while she hoped she wasn't one of those girls who got periods.

They made two trips: one for groceries and other necessities and another for clothing. The girls were easily impressed by Sasuke's new apartment. Ino had even gushed over an arrangement of pale flowers in a tall vase that Sasuke hadn't been able to see because they blended into the wall behind them. While shopping for clothing, Sasuke could clearly see that this was the part of the outing the girls were most looking forward too. She'd been in and out of change rooms far too many times for her liking and the other girls got far too excited over shoes. On the other hand, the girls weren't happy about Sasuke's disinterest in arranging outfits (Ino had been right) and designer clothing. Sasuke preferred to buy cheap, ordinary clothes from the general purpose stores but even then the girls wouldn't let her get away with not making it an event.

"Sasuke, what do you think?" Ino asked, dragging the new girl over to a mirror outside the changing rooms. She threw two shirts over Sasuke's front to compare the colours. "Persian or midnight?"

"I can't tell the difference," Sasuke deadpanned. They both looked dark blue to her.

They were in a non-designer clothing shop but that hadn't stopped the other kunoichis from getting excited. It also seemed like the women's section of even the general purpose stores was very different to the men's side. Sasuke didn't remember having this many colours to choose from. Or this many styles.

"Do think she'll look better in lion or ecru?" Sakura wondered, sizing up two jackets.

"Lion looks really good on Uchiha-san," Hinata remarked.

"They're exactly the same," Sasuke said.

"The style is the same but the colours are different."

Sasuke shook her head. "They're both light brown! And a lion is an animal, not a colour."

"Lion and ecru are shades of yellow," Tenten corrected, throwing two pairs of jeans at Sasuke. "Go try those on, I want to see if you look better in skinnies or bootlegs."

Sasuke glared at her and dropped both pairs on the floor. "I do not care."

"I think your legs would look good in skinny jeans," Hinata said.

"Do. Not. Care!"

The biggest problem, however, was underwear. Sakura was the one to catch the new girl trying to buy a pair of boxers. It had been impossible to talk her out of it though, and she refused to touch any women's underwear, even bras. Especially bras. They had to force her hand somehow, which is how they ended up taking Sasuke to The Boutique.

Being half blind, Sasuke wasn't completely aware of what she was walking into. The girls simply insisted on leading her into a particular shop and Sasuke figured she should just follow along for now. She could tell it was another clothing shop but everything was as luridly coloured as the feminine hygiene products at the pharmacy. A bubbly sales assistant welcomed them and started to list off the stock available. Sasuke was only half paying attention as she looked around the shop. Something was a little bit off, she could just sense it.

"M&N has a new push-up line out. They're perfect for ladies with smaller chests, I can personally vouch for that. The lift is amazing," the saleswoman spruiked.

Wait a minute… Sasuke turned to the shelf right next to her. It was hard to make anything out when everything was hanging so close together and the colours were just so bright. She reached out to feel one instead.

"And most of our lingerie is going at a reduced price. We have some really good negligees and teddies in sheer fabric and lace that would be perfect for that special someone."

The girls giggled and Hinata blushed vibrantly.

"Aw, that just makes me feel bad," Ino joked. "We need to get ourselves some boyfriends to wear them in front of."

"I… I don't think I could wear it in front of him," Hinata squeaked.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. This conversation was starting to take a turn for the weird. She grabbed one of the garments on the rack and teased the fabric between her fingers. It felt like underwear but it tapered a bit harshly at the bottom.

"These sets with the fur are quite popular at the moment but I always like to go with the classic pearls."

The back of the garment was literally just a piece of string. Sasuke's eyebrows shot up. This was… was she touching a g-string? She let go of it quickly and grabbed her shopping, turning on her heel to quickly flee from the shop. "I'm done!" she snapped. "Thanks for your help but I'm leaving now."

Sakura pursued her hotly. "Sasuke-kun! Wait! You need these and you know it! Boxer shorts are not an appropriate form of underwear for a girl!" she screamed at her former teammate.

"And why the hell not?" Sasuke screamed back, turning around and giving Sakura a dangerous glare. "I told you I wasn't going anywhere near any of those undergarments and I sure as hell am not wearing them! Especially not from a place as lewd as that shop!"

"What?" Ino asked, exiting the store as well. "This boutique?"

"It's a sex shop that specialises in women's underwear!"

"No it's not," Tenten argued.

"It is! The general purpose shop didn't sell g-strings, or push-ups, or teddies, or see-through negligees, or 'sets' lined with fake fur and fake pearls! I don't need them! My breasts aren't big enough to need them."

"U-Uchiha-san," Hinata said shyly, "People are looking at you."

"I don't give a fuck as long as that shop is exposed for the sexual gratification chamber that it really is!" Sasuke yelled, pointing at the sign above the shop.

"Sasuke? Is that you?"

Sasuke froze on the spot. The girls stared wide-eyed. Everyone in the vicinity was looking. The person behind Sasuke sighed loudly. "Nah, it wouldn't be you. Sasuke's still in prison."

Sasuke turned around, feeling the tightest knot in her stomach that she'd felt since her amazing gender transformation. Of course, she hadn't yet thought about the other member of her former team. She came face-to-face with Uzumaki Naruto. They stared at each other, recognition flaring in Naruto's blue eyes when he was able to see Sasuke's face.

"It... it is you..." he whispered.

Sasuke couldn't form any words, partly because she didn't know what to say to Naruto and partly because of the presence of the pale, black-haired boy standing next to him. Sai narrowed his eyes at Sasuke.

"Why were you released so soon?" he asked darkly.

"Go ask your damn Hokage," Sasuke snarled.

Naruto stepped closer. "I don't know what Tsuande-baa-chan has to do with it but for some reason it feels different... speaking to you and looking at you. I think you've changed somehow."

Sasuke had no idea what was happening now. Her bundle of nerves was unravelling and it felt like a bouquet of flowers was blooming in her chest when Naruto smiled and his face seemed to glow pure happiness. The idea that Sasuke had changed in any way gave him hope. However, when Sai stepped in front of her the feeling disappeared and that's when Sasuke realised that the feeling of blooming flowers had been her own happiness; the joy of finding the only person whom she had ever considered a friend. She glared at Sai for standing in her way and suddenly stiffened when he shoved his hand into the empty space where she used to have a certain male apparatus.

"Sai! What the fuck?!" Sakura shrieked.

"I was just checking something. Naruto, it looks like Uchiha-san has somehow lost his penis."

Naruto raised his eyebrows. "What? That can't be. That's the normal Sasuke right there. I mean, there is the feeling that something is different about him, but I can see with my own eyes that that's the old Sasuke... wait a minute." Naruto quickly strode up to Sasuke and stood in front of her looking down slightly. "Sasuke, how did you shrink?"

"A really big, heavy brick fell on my head," Sasuke said dryly. "And you, get your hand out of my crotch."

"That's not the truth at all," Sai countered, pulling his hand away from her. "The real reason you've become so small is-"

"My, my, Sai, all this time and you're still a social retard," Sasuke interrupted, picking up the bags she'd dropped in her hysteria over the lingerie. "Now leave me alone. I'm going back to my apartment and I'm _not_ buying anything from that sex shop incognito." She roughly shouldered her way past Sai and walked away briskly.

"Wait!" Naruto called. And she stopped, if only because Naruto had called. She turned her head slightly to show that she was listening. "It's really great that you were let out of prison early, Sasuke. So to celebrate you and Sakura and me should go out tonight. I found a few discount coupons from Ichiraku's and they haven't expired yet, I promise. Let's meet there at six."

"Well, I suppose ramen would be okay," Sakura said, losing her simmering edge. "If you don't mind, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke smiled, but with her back turned nobody noticed. "That's alright. I'll come at six."

Naruto's face split into a wide grin. "Good. Make sure you're on time then."

Sasuke replied with a one-shouldered shrug and kept walking. Even after all this time, it seemed Naruto still didn't know an Uchiha all that well.

* * *

Sasuke returned to her apartment and dumped her shopping on the floor in her bedroom. She started unpacking things and putting them away in drawers and hanging them up in the cupboard. There were more male clothes than female clothes. Unbeknownst to the well-meaning kunoichi of Konoha, Sasuke had slipped a few extra articles of menswear into her purchases. Every time she pulled a female garment out of a shopping bag she cringed. Most of them were low cut and form-fitting, hip-hugging, floral and frilly. Women's clothes were designed to make them exhibitionists if the clothes Sakura, Tenten and Ino had helped her pick were anything to go by.

"Flipping sex shops," she muttered to herself. "They're all like sex shops in disguise."

The only sensible article of clothing picked for her was chosen by Hinata. It was a dark, hooded denim jacket with a light-coloured fake fur lining around the hood, cuffs and hem. It was a woman's jacket, but it was shapeless and loose-fitting. Sasuke was actually happy to hang it in his cupboard.

Shoes had been another ordeal altogether. Sasuke insisted that she only needed two pairs of ninja sandals – one pair to replace the other if it so happened to get broken. It seemed to be the opinion of the others that at least five pairs were needed and that Sasuke needed to have a pair of high heels as well. Sasuke refused to even try a pair let alone buy a pair.

By the time she'd finished organising her wardrobe it was already five o'clock. Sasuke decided that she would have to take a shower before meeting Naruto and Sakura at Ichiraku's Ramen. She couldn't really see herself in the full-length mirror of her cupboard but she could guess that she looked quite scruffy. She hadn't washed since she left the prison. Her clothes must have looked awfully dirty. She stepped into her bathroom, shedding her clothes and dumping them in a woven straw hamper, thinking to take the card out of the pocket and take it back into her bedroom where she placed it on the dresser that was incorporated into her wardrobe system. She remembered to take off the bandages before getting into the shower. She laid them over the towel rack neatly, noticing that they still had some balm stuck to them, so she could just put them back on when she was finished.

She pulled back the shower curtain and started to run the hot water. It felt so good to be having a real shower with hot water, soap and a washcloth. She breathed in the fresh smell of steam as the water cascaded over her body soothingly. Sasuke did get a bath in gaol but he hadn't been allowed to leave his cell to join other prisoners in the showers. Instead, some guards entered his cell with a bucket of soapy water, a bucket of clean water, a sponge and a towel and half undressed him. It was only now that she was watching the brown grime swirl down the drain at her feet that she realised exactly how dirty she was. It felt incredible to be able to have luxuries like this again.

After having her body and hair properly washed for the first time in six months she stepped out and grabbed a towel to dry herself, feeling fresher than she ever had before. In having to actually touch her new body she now realised how much it had changed. There was a pronounced curve in her waist and hips and there were the obvious pair of breasts on her chest. She looked down at them. Tsunade had said something about them getting bigger. The yellow bra was still on the dining table. She hoped they didn't grow much bigger than what they already were. She also noticed how soft and thin her body had become but overruled the possibility of that being simply because she was now a girl. She hadn't trained in six months so, starting early tomorrow morning, she was going to begin a strict training regime to gain back her lost muscles. For now, she had to think about getting dressed for the Team 7 reunion.

* * *

Sasuke made it to Ichiraku's Ramen at exactly six o'clock wearing a pair of denim trousers (for boys), a brown cotton t-shirt (also for boys), a pair of plain sandals and the denim jacket Hinata had picked. Sakura and Naruto were already there. Naruto was wearing his trademark orange jumpsuit (sometimes Sasuke doubted that Naruto even had anything else to wear) and Sakura was wearing a long pink cheongsam and pink sandals with thin straps. She glared at Sasuke, noticing her boyish attire.

"Where did those clothes come from?" she asked.

Sasuke shrugged. "They're new."

With a poof, the argument dissolved just as it had started when Kakashi arrived. Sasuke smiled slightly.

"Wow, Kakashi is actually on time for once?"

"Huh? I thought I was late," Kakashi said, turning to glare at Naruto. "You said it was an afternoon snack at four thirty!"

"I lied," Naruto replied with a cheeky grin.

"What?" Sakura gaped. "You mean to tell us, all this time you've been turning up late to our missions _on_ _purpose_?"

"It's not like that..." Kakashi tried to reason.

"Then please explain." Sakura crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

"Um... so I see Sasuke has been released from prison," Kakashi said, changing the subject. "Why so soon?" He intoned it as a genuine question but Sasuke could tell that he already had a fairly good idea, judging by the bored look in his eye.

She sighed. "It's a long story."

"I think we've got time."

"I don't think you caught my drift: I'm not telling you."

"Hey, hey, come on, this isn't just about Sasuke, you know!" Naruto interjected. "This is about us and the fact that Team 7 is finally back together again. And I mean _really_ back together."

Sakura smiled and uncrossed her arms. "Yeah, that's what it's all about. Now are we gonna eat or what?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's eat!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly, nearly leaping onto a stool in the ramen shop. Sakura and Sasuke followed at a more controlled pace and Kakashi was the only one to notice Sasuke blindly bump into the stool before she sat down.

* * *

Sasuke returned to her apartment and locked the door. She immediately retreated to her bedroom and flopped down on the bed. The bounce of a spring mattress was so familiar but the sensation felt so new. She never thought a mattress could feel so heavenly. She didn't want to get up now so she stripped herself down to the boxers she was wearing and dropped everything on the floor, vowing to pick it up in the morning. She set the alarm on the digital clock on the nightstand and slipped under the covers.

It felt strange to be sleeping bare-chested with breasts. It wasn't painful, just weird. She ignored it though, and focused on keeping her eyes closed so that she could fall asleep for an early morning tomorrow.

* * *

**This chapter is brought to you by stupidity: the stupidity of shopping in women's departments and Naruto's stupidity, naturally. Sasuke's shopping experience is based on things that are actually real. I swear, every time I walk into a new shop looking for feminine hygiene stuff I have to ask a sales assistant to tell me where they are. Why must they try to hide things that are so necessary? The lingerie shop is also based on my experience of an underwear shop that exists in my local shopping centre. I stopped shopping there on principle when the number of thongs and thong styles started to dramatically outnumber all other forms of underwear.**

**But yeah. The deadly encounters just keep on rising. Despite what transpired, Kakashi is not going to let Sasuke get away with evading the important questions. Until next chapter. :3**

**Please give me reviews. Let me know what you think. Especially for this chapter because I'm not sure if I really like it or not.**


	4. Food for the Blind

4. Food for the Blind

Early in the morning, before the sun had even come up, Sasuke awoke to find that her breasts had suddenly grown two times bigger. They weren't that heavy, they were just bigger... and soft. She poked one and it felt like poking a smooth, dry water balloon full of warm water. She shook some sense into herself; it was stupid to be sitting there poking her own tits. She got up and had a shower, marvelling at how well Tokuma's balm had worked for her raw flesh. It wasn't completely healed but it was an improvement. She put on an ordinary pair of blue pants and a grey shirt and a pair of ninja sandals and left the apartment for an early morning run. Once around Konoha would be enough for now, even though she knew she used to be able to go around the village a few times. Her larger breasts bounced up and down as she ran. It was rather uncomfortable and painful even but she wouldn't let that deter her from her lap.

On the way around she was less than surprised to find that Lee was also making his way around Konoha on an early morning jog. Upon spotting Sasuke, he blushed and faltered in his step when one of the first things he noticed was that she clearly wasn't wearing a bra. Then he tripped and fell flat on his face. Sasuke stopped in front of him just as he was pulling his face out of the dirt.

"Are you alright, idiot?"

"Ah, U-Uchiha," Lee stammered, making the boy-now-girl raise an eyebrow. "I see you're on the training circuit already; a fine expression of your youth!"

He stood up, smiling like an idiot. But then he made the mistake of looking directly at Sasuke. Even though she was wearing a shapeless outfit her contours were still protruding.

"What are you looking at?" Sasuke snapped, putting her hands on her hips, not realising that that only further emphasised the shape of her hips and waist.

"U-uhm... ah..." Lee stuttered, realising he'd just been caught raking his eyes over her body. Sasuke furrowed her eyebrows. It wasn't like Lee to be stuttering. "You look pretty and youthful this morning."

Sasuke blinked. "Thanks. We should keep running in opposite directions." Sasuke stepped left to get around Lee but he accidentally stepped in her way trying to do the same thing. They bumped each other head on, more specifically bumping chests. Lights fired off in Lee's head and an electrical surge zapped through his whole body. Holy shit! His body just touched female boobs! He had no idea that's what they felt like. Sasuke clicked her tongue in irritation and tried to step around him again, this time to the right. His arm went out automatically to stop her. Sasuke growled at him. She had no idea what he was trying to do and judging by the look on his face, he didn't either. His gaze jumped back and forth between his arm and Sasuke and then, as if only just realising exactly what he'd just done, laughed awkwardly. He backed off with his hands held up in apology.

"S-sorry! My mistake. I'm just not used to seeing you as a girl, I guess..."

Lee was just acting stranger and stranger this morning. Sasuke narrowed her eyes. "What? You're not going to start saying something retarded like 'this is a new Springtime of Youth' or whatever?"

"Of course!" Lee suddenly shouted, looking away from her and glad to have something else to focus on; something 'normal'. "Life and youth as a woman must be drastically different to that of a man. And you have just been released from prison: a mark of your youth and good behaviour, no doubt."

Sasuke couldn't see how 'youth' fit in there but she might as well just let Lee talk. She remembered from her days as an official Konoha genin that outright disagreeing with Lee's exaggerated views of youthfulness would lead to louder shouting and a big scene.

"This _is_ a new Springtime of Youth!" Lee exclaimed, eyes sparkling and cheeks turning a rosy colour. Sasuke could now see why Sakura used to freak out at the thought of a romantic relationship with Lee. "You know that the saying goes: 'everyone can turn over a new leaf and renew the youth of their past'."

Sasuke had never heard that one before.

"Ah! But you might have been weakened from your months in gaol," Lee realised. "You'll need some special training. To replenish your skills, fitness and strength I have the perfect regime. You'll be feeling at the peak of your youth again in no time at all! That is... if you want me to help because if you don't that's just fine too – I'll respect your privacy."

Sasuke knew that it wasn't skills she was lacking, just muscular strength. The skills came back with a few minutes of recall time and her chakra levels were still the same but her speed, endurance and physical power had waned significantly. Lee was good at that type of thing, so she stood to lose nothing from letting him help her. Although, she wondered what in the ninja world had made Lee so eager to be of assistance. She looked down in thought, expecting to just see her feet but for the first time she noticed her breasts were in the way. She sighed. That was probably it. If she were still a boy Lee would just take the first chance he had to fight her, instead he was going to help her train.

"Um... you're being silent," Lee piped up after five minutes. "I take that as a no..."

"Yes."

Lee blinked. "What? Did I hear you correctly?"

"I said yes. I know that you're the best bodybuilder in my peer group and I don't stand to lose anything from you helping me. So you can help me if you really want to. However..."

Sasuke paused. Lee gulped. She was looking off into space thinking deeply about something. Then all of a sudden her eyes snapped back to his. "I'll only give you a month. When we finish this," she proposed, "I want to fight you."

Lee looked a little confused at first but when the words sunk in deeply flames erupted in his eyes. "I see! You never change Uchiha! The Fires of Youth are burning fiercely in your soul. Alright; one month and then we fight!"

"Good. I'm going back to my apartment. I'll meet you at training ground nineteen in one hour."

"Of course! I'll be there. Let's train hard together and do our best, Uchiha-chan!"

Sasuke punched Lee in the face on impulse. Lee spun around twice and collapsed face first on the ground, blood pouring out of his nose. He hadn't expected that. "If you ever call me 'Uchiha-chan' again I'll break more than just your nose." She returned to her run. Lee watched her back while trying to stop the blood from dripping onto his lip with his hand.

"She must be a _tsundere_," he thought aloud, clearly not understanding Sasuke's behaviour at all.

* * *

By the time Sasuke had returned home she found that she actually still had energy, so maybe she wasn't as unfit as she thought she was. She clutched her breasts and massaged them a bit to try to find a bit of relief. They were feeling tender and sore after that run. How did all of the other kunoichi do it? She glanced at the yellow bra. It was still there on the table. Maybe... maybe she really did need it. She shook her head, reminding herself that she had her pride as a man even though he'd become a girl; a pride that stopped her from wanting to wear female clothing and do female things like flower arranging. She'd made it clear yesterday that she had no intention of wearing a bra. But the sore breasts spoke for themselves.

After wasting a few minutes debating with herself she took off her shirt and picked up the yellow lace bra. First of all she had to figure out how to put it together. After a brief examination she didn't understand how some boys couldn't understand how bras worked. It was practically self-explanatory. The straps went over the shoulders, the breasts went in the cups and it connected together at the back with a hook and eye catch. It wasn't hard just because she had to clip it together at the back. In fact, that made it easier since Sasuke didn't have to look at it. Her terrible vision would have probably made it worse.

Her stomach growled, reminding her that she needed breakfast before she did any more exercise. She put some bread in the toaster and found her muesli cereal and milk. Breakfast ended up in a mess, despite how simple it was. Milk got spilt on the table, she nearly caused the bowl to turn over, she dropped the butter, thinking that she'd grabbed a hold of it properly when she actually hadn't and had she been using a sharp knife she would have sliced her hand terribly. She groaned while cleaning up after her meal, rinsing her bowl, plate and cutlery and putting them in the dishwasher. She put away her butter and milk and started to clean up the spills on the dining table with paper towels. None of them had reached her folders but they reminded her that she needed to put them in a safer place.

Finishing the disaster of her breakfast, Sasuke fetched a few shuriken and kunai, put her top back on and left her home again for some more training.

* * *

It was early evening when Lee and Sasuke finally stopped training after only breaking once for lunch. Sasuke wiped her sweaty face on her already drenched shirt on the way back home, forgetting about her new body and causing a passing male cyclist to crash into a lamppost. It seemed there were a few things she'd forgotten about Konoha, like exactly how hard Lee trained. She was staggering slightly and her muscles ached but she wasn't one to complain or wallow in any sort of pity, self or not.

"Yo."

Sasuke looked up at the familiar terse greeting and looked around until her blurred vision settled on a shock of silver hair over one of the fences surrounding her. Kakashi had one arm over the wooden fence and was looking down at her with his usual unreadable expression. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. If Kakashi was seeking her out for whatever reason she certainly didn't want to oblige him.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"I just came to check up on you," Kakashi replied vaguely. He vaulted over the fence but didn't get closer to her. Instead he just folded his arms and leaned against the wood. "You weren't talking much last night so I got worried."

"Like hell you did," Sasuke retorted. "Just tell me one thing: is this a personal investigation or did someone hire you to do this?"

"Oi, oi. Who said this was a business matter?" Kakashi said in an even tone. "You just seemed very different to the Sasuke I remember. Do you want to have dinner somewhere and talk about it?"

A snort of laughter came out before Sasuke could hold it back. "Did I just hear correctly? Are you asking me on a date?" she teased, unable to resist. "Surely this goes against some law, right? Duty of care, breach of trust kind of thing?"

"Whose trust am I breaching?" Kakashi quipped but held back from extending the joke further when Sasuke's expression darkened and her lips formed a hard line. He sighed. Conversations between two sharp ninjas were never any fun when they could both work out at least half of the dialogue without it needing to be said. "Think of it as a celebration of sorts. I'm glad that you've been released from prison so I'm taking you out to dinner platonically."

Sasuke grunted and turned her face away from her former teacher. "At least you're smart enough to not talk about my family in front of me."

She wanted to say no to him, she really did. If she was forced to sit in front of Kakashi alone for a few hours something was sure to crack and he'd find out things she didn't want him to know. A paranoid part of her – which she was absolutely assured was also completely accurate on this matter – told her that he already knew most of those things. This meeting was designed to squeeze out the tiny bits of information he didn't know, like finding the missing pieces to complete the jigsaw puzzle where the picture was already discernible. However, another part of her was fighting to say yes and it was quickly starting to gain the upper hand. There was still the fact that she was in a bind over dinner. Breakfast was a disaster when she could barely see, how was she going to be able to cook? She was in no way prepared to deal with that and Kakashi's meeting offered a very easy way out of that problem for now.

"Where are you planning to take me?" she eventually asked after a quiet pause.

"I'll meet you at your place."

"How do you know where I live?" Sasuke snapped at him, eyes narrowing.

"I have my ways. It's just a sushi bar near the centre of town, nothing suspect."

"We'll see about that." Sasuke walked on past him without a glance in his direction, all the while planning how she could make tonight one of the worst nights of Kakashi's life. Kakashi kept his eye on her until she rounded a corner and then sighed. He knew she was going to try to be as difficult to deal with as possible, that much hadn't changed about her.

* * *

Once back at home Sasuke decided that she would take a shower before doing anything else. She revelled in the sticky sensation of sweat-drenched clothes peeling off her body. The feeling was so familiar and yet she had gotten so unaccustomed to it, having not worked up a real sweat like that for months. She got to her bra, taking it off and looking at it. It was just as wet as everything else, if not wetter and it smelt terrible. Now, it's not that Sasuke cared or anything, but it was proper etiquette to go on a date not only looking but smelling your best and she had to lower suspicions about her somehow if she was ever going to live in peace. She'd realised by yesterday afternoon that the ANBU were on alert nearby, not watching her directly but keeping her vicinity well guarded. Unfortunately, she had no other bra to wear. It was quite a shame because she'd grown to like it throughout the course of the day. It kept those annoying breasts supported and in place; so they didn't jiggle a lot and end up sore by the end of the training session.

In the end, she decided that she would have to do without it for a few hours. It wasn't like it was absolutely necessary anyway, since she wouldn't be moving around too much at a dinner date. So she washed it in her bathroom sink with hand wash and took it into her laundry to hang it up on a clothes hanger overnight.

She had no dilemma with deciding what she was going to wear. No matter what the other girls thought of her she was not going to wear a skirt or a dress. She decided on a pair of knee-length white shorts, a long-sleeved, form-fitting black t-shirt (which was actually a size too big) and her new favourite article of clothing: the denim jacket. She rolled up the sleeves of her shirt before pulling on her ninja sandals and heading out.

* * *

**Life's been difficult for me for the past few weeks. This chapter was actually done but I procrastinated putting it up, which is odd because publishing fanfiction is usually what I do for procrastination. **

**The next chapter is going to be one hell of an awkward dinner. **

**Please review! :3**


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